‘I have a second home in Goa.’ This statement which is commonly heard from non-Goans, not only smells of privilege but also romanticizes the Goan way of life without understanding the ground realities of a place. The book, ‘Becoming Goan: A Contemporary Coming-Home Story’ published by Penguin Random House India by first-time author, Michelle Mendonça Bambawale, gives a glimpse of these realities.
Michelle an expatriate for 18 years living in cities like Bangkok, and London, made her way back home to Goa in 2020, like many others during the Pandemic. Her book reflects on her dual identity, straddling traditional Goan roots and contemporary influences as she relocates to her 160-year-old ancestral house in Siolim in North Goa. Before that as a visitor to Goa, she had a snapshot view of Goan life.
“Being here full-time is wonderfully different,” says Michelle. “I’ve experienced so many things first hand: how deeply connected Goans are to the land, the forests, the crops; the relationship with the seasons, the number of festivals celebrated every month, often with typical, traditional foods; how conservative and ritualistic the two major religions are. This was very different from the bohemian party scene that is actively promoted in the media and on social media. The image and perception of Goa contrasts hugely with the reality of the lives of Goans in Goa.”
Michelle, who grew up in Pune, visited Goa mainly during summer and winter vacations right from the 1970s. “I felt my grandparents were Goan, as they knew the language and the culture. Unfortunately they, like many Goans, had to leave as there were no opportunities for them. Now that I have reverse-migrated and am living here, I have found a visceral resonance to Goa, which encourages me to give voice to my Goan identity,” she elaborates.
Michelle who is from the media and education sector, in these three years of her stay, is trying to understand Goa in a very intimate way. She is participating in heritage walks, festivals, choir singing, watching films, and plays, reading literature related to Goa, and chatting with friends, neighbours, etc. “I am beginning to understand why Goans are so fiercely proprietorial about Goa, why being Goan is so important to us. This is a special place – not the beach and party stereotype, but because of the history, culture, natural beauty, and biodiversity,” adds Michelle.
During her process of discovery, she wondered whether the Goa she loves was changing and whether it was losing its magic. “During and after the pandemic, change was exponential, and I was not sure if it was for the better,” adds Michelle. She then started documenting these observations and changes in her blog, which in away became a seed for her book, ‘Becoming Goan.’
“As I walked my big, crazy Labrador Haruki every evening in my vaddo, I observed all the people who lived here. I started blogging my observations about the resident village Goans as well as the different communities who had migrated here. My blogs received enthusiastic feedback from family and friends who wanted my “insider” take on Goa and how Goa was changing,” elaborates Michelle.
With this blog, her endeavor was also to present a counterpoint to the narrative of the many travel and food bloggers, influencers, and real estate brochures selling Goa with beautiful photos of village charms. “It was time to tell my own “finding Siolim” story. I reminisce and reflect on myself, my village, my culture, my community, and Goan rural life in the 2020s.”
She mentions this with syncretic traditions like the famous Siolim Zagor, which is held on the first Monday after Christmas. It is observed by the both—Hindus and Christians.
Michelle is also very observant about the ecological changes taking place with real estate giants razing Goa’s forests, hills, etc. In her book, she mentions the resistance to such projects in the villages of Carmona, Olaulim, etc. “I mention these in my book. I have only been an observer,” she says.
One interesting aspect of knowing Goa for Michelle was studying Portuguese property law. She adds, “To transfer ancestral property from both my mother and my father’s sides, I needed to understand how Portuguese property law works. It is complex, to say the least! Too many anomalies and complications for an amateur. I now have a general idea of the major stages and steps involved. Not being a lawyer, I continue to struggle with the details and nuances.”
On a concluding note when asked where she places herself in this insider-outsider debate in Goa, she states, “Since I can’t communicate in Konkani, I see myself as an outsider. On the other hand, I am tortured by all the tree cutting, drilling, fencing, and construction of luxury villas with swimming pools allover Siolim, which tells me I am now an insider.”
‘Becoming Goan’ is available online and also at all leading bookstores in Goa.