Parenting is rewarding, but it can also be overwhelming. Parental burnout is lingering, intense exhaustion coupled with an overwhelming feeling of being unable to cope with the relentless demands of parenting. This occurs when the stress builds up and leaves you feeling hopeless, helpless, disconnected from your child, and in doubt about your ability to be a good parent.
While the growing demands and pressures of modern parenting can cause any parent to burn out, some groups – parents with disabled children, single parents, those who balance several roles, have limited support or feel as though they must live up to unrealistic depictions of parenthood – are more vulnerable. A recent study of 1,285 working parents quoted in ScienceDirect, for example, states that 65 percent of working parents reported burnout.
Physical fatigue is common among parents of younger children, while emotional exhaustion can be more intense during the teen years. Either way, it might mean fewer interactions with your child, shorter conversations, or less enthusiasm during activities, all of which can affect the quality of your relationship with your child.
(Zamora Da Silva is a counsellor at Sethu Centre for Child Development and Family Guidance)
FINDING A PATH FORWARD
If you’re feeling burnt out, know that there are ways to cope. Begin by reflecting on your current parenting journey and where you’d like to be. Here are some steps that can help:
Seek support from a professional
Working with a psychologist can provide insights into your personal challenges and help you develop constructive coping strategies. They can also identify underlying mental health issues or unhealthy habits that may be contributing to your burnout.
Shift your mindset
Changing the way you think about parenting
can make a big difference. Acknowledge that you can feel both love and frustration, and that it’s okay to struggle with the loss of independence that comes with being a parent. It helps to explore your expectations and thoughts about how you should parent, what your parent-child relationship should look like, what your parenting experience should feel like, and whether you can practise self-compassion when faced with parenting setbacks.
Understand your parenting triggers
Your childhood experiences shape how you approach parenting. Exploring these influences helps you understand what might be pushing you toward burnout and help you make adjustments to support
your well-being.
Take care of yourself
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take time to care for yourself, set boundaries, and aim for a style of parenting that you can sustain in the long term.
Stay present and flexible
Good parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about being present with your child, responding to their needs, and letting go of rigid expectations of what parenting ‘should’ look like.
Parental burnout is real. You’re not alone on this journey. Rejecting the myth of the multi-tasking super hero and taking care of yourself so that you have time to rest, recharge, and asking for support when you need it, helps you put your best foot forward for your child. Give yourself permission to accept that good enough is perfect.